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     It was a cold night in February that we received the call that we had been waiting for. My birthy brain tried to take over the irrational what ifs that seem to be flooding through. It was a warm welcome. I calmly asked if she felt like a warm bath where she could have her sister time through contractions for an hour. The hour came and passed. Another. Then almost another. My husband said to come to bed but I just sat staring at our fish swimming around so aimlessly, praying for the safety of this precious baby and his mother. Then the frantic call of a worried sister lead me to say, “Get to the hospital, NOW!” I’m not going to say that I sped, technically, but I made that few hour long trip a tad shorter.

     The next few hours consisted of explaining the birth process and trying to deter unnecessary drama. Of course, that’s the case with many births but I felt a natural instinct to protect this mother from anyone trying to cause her grief in such a vulnerable time. (This is the root of my doula journey but that’s not what we’re here to talk about!)  

     The sweetest doctor, that took on this case in the third trimester simply because of her amazing heart, came in to check on everyone. Things were close and progressing quickly. We kept things as light as possible but there was a heavy in the room. I earnestly wished that she had someone solely there for her. I was doing my best to balance my heart for her and her baby. I knew things could change quickly and that was okay with me. I just prayed for their hearts and wisdom. Over. And. Over. 

     Then the doctor told us it was time. We were not sure what to expect with the outcome so our prayers shifted to health and safety for this sweet soul about to be born. Some strong words of encouragement and a few pushes later, Baby N was born with a full cry that filled the room with tears and joy! The mother asked me to cut the umbilical cord, a privilege that I will forever be thankful for and cherish. As the “just in case” nurses filed out of the room, his main nurse accessed with all things a plus! She handed sweet Baby N to his mother where she exclaimed, “I did it!” Yes, Mama, you did! Like a boss! You had one of the most precious babies I have ever seen. As she handed him to me, I asked again if she was sure. My heart kept telling me to stop asking but I needed her to understand that I was there either way. For both of them. She had options. She was sure, as she had been since the day we met. 

     As we all settled into our own rooms and the days passed by, I soaked up every feature of this precious baby boy. None of my own but all of his birth parent’s features. Each tiny finger and toe. The tiny ears and duck lips he made so naturally. The sweetest cheeks and baby feet that made me swoon! Baby N was uniquely and wonderfully formed in his mother’s womb. Tears streamed down my face on a whim. Tears for his mother that chose us to parent her child. A choice I cannot even fathom but will forever be grateful for. Tears for the child that is a precious gift from above to us all. We have the honor of being his mommy and daddy. An honor we couldn’t be more grateful for! 

“A child born to another woman calls me mommy.  The magnitude of that tragedy & the depth of that privilege are not lost on me” ~Jody Landers

Candiauce Klein is a wife to her handsome husband. They have 5 handsome boys, one incredibly spunky gal, and one special little lady on Heaven’s side. There is no one she would rather do this precious thing called life with. God has blessed them immensely in growing their family in many different ways! She is a birth and bereavement doula that couldn’t do this without the amazing support of her family.

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